When It Rains, It Pours.

I feel that a lot of people are angry at me now, for reasons I don't know.

A lot of things have happened over these two weeks. My attempt to lose weight (which is obviously failing), my father, my insecurities and well. Some more problems which A'qilah knows.

Initially, I asked myself, what is it that J has that I don't? I thought I was at par with her. We both have our weaknesses and strenghts. But something happened tht made me feel inferior towards her. I was angry. Angry at her. At myself. At everyone. It took A'qilah to ask me this question ; are you then, angry at Allah?, to make me take a step back and see the whole picture. There is a hikmah for everything. I have yet to see the it, but I reckon that this would save my father from getting another heart attack :D

I talked to my mum and A'qilah about this issue. Of course, A'qilah was the more understanding one. Umi simply asked, why bother?

But that was true. Why am I so bothered? Must be my slf- esteem issues. Which brings us to the incident yesterday. I didn't wanna go to my grandma's bday party for several reasons, so I ended up eating dinner with A'qilah and Kak Noraini (her treat :D) Kak Noraini then knocked some sense into me, something a lot of people have failed to do so. I have to learn to love myself. To accept myself for who I am. And to learn not to rush.

What A'qilah said was true to, when you ask Allah for patience, He gives it to you through tests.

I guess I just have to brace myself.

ON A SEPARATE NOTE, yesterday, while we walked into Swensens, everyone (and i mean everyone) was staring at us. Kak Noraini said it's because we're pretty.

But it has to to be that we were all in black Jubahs and black and grey hijab.

Duh.